R.A.Koyama

Live Well, Live Happy, Live Long

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Happy? Learning to be is not what you are taught in school.

Of all the things we learned in school, how to be happy wasn’t on the list.

Babies make everyone happier!

I guess when we were going to school it was just assumed we were happy.  For many, that was the truth, but sadly for others that was not the case.  Thankfully today teachers or the education systems are more aware of the emotional health of their students.  It is not the intent of this post to get into the good or the bad of any educational system.

The intent is rather to help open your mind to what being Happy means and the role it plays in your life, especially as you get older.

For some getting old seemed to have a pattern that is now out of date.  At least in my mind anyway and I hope with my writing and courses to eventually help others see the many benefits being happy offers, especially as we get older.

Society in many ways has changed its perspective on aging and while many of my books seem to focus on the end of life that doesn’t mean I am not focused on Living.  I am, very much so.

 

Life needs books

So while I still have a couple of items around the topic on the end of life to finish off, like the book of “Leavings”, there are several more on the go that speak to living the best of life no matter what your age.

The one I am most excited about is titled – Aging – Let’s Do It Differently!  I am sure you will see some of it crop up in my posts as is often the case when I am contemplating, researching and refining what I write.

Not to forget the topic of this post which is also something I have been checking out.

Being happy as we age I’ve learned means different things to different folks.  To some, it means contentment with their life.  To others it means fulfillment, and still, others say it is satisfaction.  I have even had people tell me it was a sense of relief.  Whatever you call it I am eager to explore what BEING HAPPY means and how we can learn to be happier.  It does seem to have an affect on how we live our lives.

In the meantime check out this short book I wrote on the topic.

Click here to get your copy

It Ain’t Over ’til its Over – dying is not the end

When I write it ain’t over, it’s because I often write about death and dying, but not in the normal sense.

 

 

Coffee and a friend to share it with

 

Grab a coffee and let's chat about life!

Grab a coffee and let’s chat about life!

 

 

I don’t believe in being morbid but I do believe in people being ready for the end. And those that aren’t are usually the ones for whom death is unexpected. A sudden illness, an accident or catastrophe befall them. And while I much of what I write speak to the older generation it applies all of who are getting older.

 

There is much to done before we go.

The book is a guide to help you clean your house before you go so your kids won’t have to once you’re gone. For me, that is some of what  Leavings my new book speaks to.

That was the gist of my most recent book.  But if you haven’t seen it you can get it here.

When I write that dying is not the end I am not preaching about the meaning of death, I am writing about what and who you leave behind. This is what I prefer to focus on and what you are going to find the book I am currently writing for very specific reasons. Some of that you can read in this Post.

We all leave something when we go I hope to help you leave a lasting legacy.  I do have my reasons and are mostly related to my own family experiences.  While most of my family has passed what I learned from their living and passing is what often write in my books and in my blogs.  The sister blog to this one www.healthywealthyaging.com is where I share some of the things that do not make it into my books.  Here is a link to one of the relevant posts.

There is so much to write about living and grow old and hope to make the journey a pleasant and meaningful one.  I hope you will join me in the discussion.

And I would love to share one of my free short book with you for doing so.

The book is Learn how to be happy, just click HERE to get your free copy.

 

 

 

Aging conjures up thought of Leavings

 

Death is not the end when you consider what you are leaving behind

 

 

Wistful Sky

Wistful Sky

Most of us consider dying as the end and true it is the end of our lives, but it isn’t the END. The vast majority of us leave something behind. That leavings may be family, friends or some other legacy. Sure we think about leaving something behind in the form of insurance.

Just watch TV for a while, and you will no doubt see ads showing families talking how they feel so sorry for the other family who was having a hard time paying for their loved one’s funeral. The message is you need to have insurance; that is what you leave behind and if you don’t then your death is not the end but the start of a financial struggle for those you left behind. And I think it is true, that each of us at a minimum has the responsibility to have enough insurance to cover whatever bills and costs are left when we go.

 

But that is not all there is to dying.

 

Sure dying isn’t good for any of us. But the only person that death is the end for is YOU. Once you’re gone, you’re gone, end of the story – For YOU.

 

What we leave behind can be good or bad, I want to focus on the good.

I believe we live at the most wonderful time ever!  There is so much we can leave behind that will be wonderful and most of all make people happier than we could ever have done at any other time in our lives.  Of course, when we go, there is the immediate feeling of sadness, but after the initial pain, there is so much we can leave them with that can help them get over it sooner.

 

So for those of us who have not lived in isolation, our death is not the end. We have family, and friends to whom our death means more than just us being gone. I believe we can do more to lessen the effect of our death and to make our death something that helps them in their life more fully. I am not speaking of tangible things. We all leave things behind, what I am talking about is our essence. What is the essence of ourselves that we leave behind?

 

I am reminded of my granddaughter and even my children who always had this blanket or stuffy toy they could not go sleep without.  I remember their panic if it could not be found.  And I also recall their answer when asked why they need it so much, why wouldn’t another stuffy or blanket do?  The answer was; it smelledLike you or Mommy or like home, and that was what helped them calm down or go to sleep.

 

 

sleeping child

 

What we leave behind is the topic of my next book  titled Leavings, you can get a feel for the content by reading a recent post on the topic by clicking here  LEAVINGS’

Well, when it is our time to go to sleep what will we leave with them to go to sleep?   I know for our kids now in their 40’s their most trusted soothers have now gone.  The blanket at one point disintegrated in the wash.  That stuffy has lost all of its’ inners and the outer somewhere along the way.  So what will they have to soothe them, and make no mistake no matter how old they get they will need something of us to help them through life.

 

How much do you think about what you will leave behind?

When we are in our 50’s unless we have had some serious illness or someone close to us has died, I would guess there is no thought given to what will be left behind when you are gone.

When we reach our 60’s our thoughts turn to our life and possible death. But beyond the tangible, we need to leave how much consideration do we give to what of US we will leave behind.

 

So I ask you when that final door closes what of YOU will you to leave behind?

 

Be sure to stay tuned for LEAVINGS

 

In the meantime, you might want to pick up the latest book titled Clean Your House Before You Go.

 

What do we do with all this Stuff?

Keepsake or forgotten memories

Where does all the stuff come from?

 

Kids and clutter seem to go together, the question is why do we still have it years after they have left home? After they have gone on to have homes of their own what is left becomes clutter.

A lifetime of gathering the families Stuff

Left to tell

It is pretty common for parents to want to keep some of the things the kids made or wore when they were growing up.   Somewhere along the line though that keepsake pile grew and expanded way beyond the original intent. Who would have guessed that we could gather this much stuff? Now as we get older ourselves we see the need to reduce what has been accumulated.  All the things that were left to tell do the story of our kid’s lives. Those kids are now starting new lives with new stories of their own children.   What we are left with is more than we can or want to deal with.

Downsizing vs rightsizing

 

 

Now is always easier than Later

While you may not, just yet, be planning on downsizing you may need to do some rightsizing.  Taking on this task earlier rather than later is a wise thing.  The longer you take to reduce what you have makes it much harder as time goes by.  Not only do you get more sentimental about things the truth of the matter is you have less energy to do the work. Downsizing seems to be the next logical progression.  A progression made much easier by rightsizing while we still have the energy.

Save Your Energy

Getting older and possibly being empty nester should allow you more time to do things you have wanted.  Attacking the clutter when you have time is not really what you had planned.  Dealing with it early means you can save your energy for getting out and doing what you have worked to do – enjoy life.

 

As we get older we discover we have too much stuff and not enough energy to deal with it.

 

The Older You Get the More Planning Required

Older doesn’t mean less involved

Our adult children are having to plan for everything from work commitments and kid activities to keep their relationships intact. While we on the other hand, or so they think because we are older, have little to do. How wrong they are.

Older people are busy too

Busy aging with places to go and things to do.

Aging Well Takes work especially as your get older

Getting older takes a lot more effort than it used to. If you are in relatively good health, you need to make plans for remaining that way.

If your health is starting to fail then now is the time to plan for making it better.  We all know that there are some things in life that we can’t plan for but there are also a lot we can.

Older doesn’t have to mean unhealthy, or weak.

 

Why is it that we fail to work on what we can until the last minute.  Most of us have worked hard for someone else all our lives, why not do the same for ourselves.

 

Work Harder for Ourselves

 

Everything seems harder the older you get, but when you become your own boss the results are worth it.  So start work for YOU INC.   Create a business plan for living your life, healthier, happier and longer. Keeping mind and body engaged is now your life’s work and a job no one wants to fail at.   But neither should you get stress out about.  Reports are that the older we get for some reason the more stressed we are.  Just when we should be enjoying life we start to worrying about our ability to do so.   Stress is dangerous at any age, but even more so when you get older.  Perhaps you have read my book about it.

Get your copy of “Stress the silent Killer” by Clicking Here.

 

And if you want to learn how to deal with stress take our free course on managing stress

 

Stay tuned for my information on my latest books.

You have a lot living to do and when you do you will have more to leave behind that will teach the rest how to live well, live happily and live long.  The book I am currently working on  LEAVINGS’   will show you just how important this is.

You can also read my previous post on the topic by clicking HERE.

 

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