Soon to be released- The Hardest Conversation

April 27, 2016

As I am writing my newest book, I continue to ponder the importance of it to not only Adults with Aging Parents but the parents themselves.

The title of the new book is:

The Hardest Conversation  – Helping Aging Parents

I am of course writing it from my perspective as the aging parent, but I want to ensure that while I share my concerns, about the inevitable “conversation,” that the feelings of my children are also address.  This will not be a good time for either, and my goal with this book is to make it as painless and stressless as possible.

So to that end, I thought I would share with you the Chapter Headings and to ask if I am missing any critical pieces.



  1. Timing the Talk
  2. Tell me Why Not What
  3. Speak to me, not at me
  4. Wishes, Wants, and Reality
  5. Stress Times Two
  6. Whose needs are being met
  7. Physical and Psychological are different
  8. What the future holds and how your parent’s health stacks up
  9. Mental process changes
  10. Give me Options Not Opinions
  11. Easing me in not out
  12. Whew, that’s done – now what?
  13. What we decided, what we agreed, what’s left?

If you are of a mind, please provide me your feedback on the topics I have chosen and let me know what your think.  You can do so in the comments or on Twitter @koyamaRuth

3 thoughts on “Soon to be released- The Hardest Conversation”

  1. 1) Before Timing, need Preparing For the Talk With Facts
    2) Need a comma inserted into #2,
    Tell me Why, Not What
    3) Indicators of the Need to Talk, maybe #1
    4) Weighing the Options, Finding Balance
    5) #12 & 13 could be consolidated

  2. Judy says:

    3 Speak with me not at me

    Difficult to comment without content. Would ensure inclusion of info about Elder Abuse Prevention and Advanced Aged Care Planning. These are programs well established in Australia.

    1. Ruthanne says:

      Wow, Judy, those are really tough subjects. I’m not sure I am qualified enough to write about them. My books really speak to my experiences and being 71, what I want and how I would want people to treat me when the time comes. The hardest conversation is written based on what I learned from the death of my mother at 93, my sister at 78 (18 years older than me) and my brother at 73 (16 years older than me). I learned much from how they lived the last years of their lives and what could or perhaps should have been different if I or their children had the tools to help.
      Thanks so much for the input it is really appreciated.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *