R.A.Koyama

Live Well, Live Happy, Live Long

Tag: a home

Dealing with Family treasures

Make sure Family Treasures are more than just STUFF

 

well loved but the need has faded

Dying is the last thing most of want to think of let alone talk about, but there are just somethings that need considering.  Some of those things are what I wrote about in my newest book A guide to dealing with family treasures so your kids won’t have to – Clean your house before you go.

 

No, the book isn’t all doom and gloom about dying and who gets what.  Well, there is a little of that but mostly is it about getting rid of all the baggage and stuff we accumulate over a hopefully long life.  The younger we are, and when I say younger I’m thinking under 70, when we do this the easier it is and will be for everyone.  Just to give you and idea on what need looking after here is a short chapter from the book:

Your beloved, treasured Antiques are now just old stuff

Older isn’t necessarily Better

 

Now on to the wonderful days of garage sales, where you found a once coveted lace table cloth.  If you were once one of those happy individuals, it’s time to give up old habits.  I have on our property a Sea Can full of antiques and garage sale finds that an old friend asked us to keep when she moved out of the country.  What she hoped would be her stash for cash when she needed it has become an albatross around her neck.  She finds there is no longer a market for it.  In addition, where we live out in cow country with nary a neighbor for miles nor a place where garage sales are held, she has little hope for making a killing on it.  As we are now making plans to move to a smaller house closer to the city, she is challenged to find a way of getting rid of it from afar.

 

Another thing for you to remember is that if the desire for antiques is declining, and I know in some places it is not, but in general they are, what will the kids who may not have room for them do?  There comes that guilt again. They will have already gone through whatever guilt comes with losing a loved one, and now those feelings will return.  It is far easier for us to think that someone will want and cherish the family heirlooms.  In some place, they most definitely still do; the question is, will they have a place for it?

Minimalism Is In

 

Look at some of the designer magazines or even some of the house flipping shows.  Most have clean, sleek lines with no oversized bulging china cabinets.  Showcases have been replaced with stylish display shelves that won’t hold a collection of heavy vases or porcelain dolls.  Some looks don’t include dressers, as they opt for closets with built-ins and sliding doors behind which are rods and drawers all neatly placed.

 

Perhaps, it is the time to rethink our way of living.  Minimalism doesn’t mean doing without, and since we do less of what we used to do, regarding entertaining, minimizing just a little shouldn’t be too much of a burden.

 

Home sized matters

 

If you or your family live in a big city, where homes are small and condos are even tinier, space is at a premium.  Most of the furniture we had is now way too big to fit in these places.

For storage, there simply is none.  When you think about what you are saving for the kids, keep these things in mind.  There is a lot more to leave behind than just stuff.  Check out my article on Leavings.

 

 

 

Cleaning House

Not what you might think but as I write my next book it provides insight into the topic. Who would have thought there is so much to write about getting old. The most important part of it is the learning. Writing these books has taught me there is so much more to consider along the way, and the best part of all is knowing it is not all bad.

My upcoming book is another of those self-help kinda books that talk about what to do with all the stuff we have gathered in our lives.
As it happens all that stuff is not always ours, but we do seem to collect things that we somehow just can’t manage to let go of.

One would think that will all to talk, and even magazines that show how the next generation are into the minimalist look that we too would hop on the bandwagon about aspire to be that ourselves. Well, according to what I see in my friends and family it ain’t’ happening. Sure each one of us thinking about what a good idea it is and how good it would be no only for us but the environment as well. But even those that live in the tiny condos now being sold just cant’ seem to get down to living with the minimum.

As we get older so does the stuff we gather, and I would bet you that half of it is also gathering dust. I remember the days when everything my parents had was constantly used from dishes to bedding, towels and face clothes. Heck, we didn’t even have a linen closet because there was nothing to put in one. And when it came to pots and pans, there was no need for a special drawer or cupboard because what we used was already on the stove.

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Nowadays there are cupboards for dishes an pots and pans, more than what we use or need. Most kitchens have pantries in one form or another, and they are filled with stuff that is rarely used or eaten before there is something in need of shelfroom that is there. There are drawers for dish towels, a closet for towels and more shelves for bedding. I would also suggest that it hasn’t changed much even after our kids leave home. We have developed a “just in case” mentality that really should be reined in as we get older.

So back to the point of the book. The truth of the matter is that as we get older the less inclined, we are even to think about all that stuff. The issue comes when something untoward happens, and someone now needs to get rid of this stuff. Similar to my book The Hardest Conversation, getting rid of our stuff becomes a touchy subject, especially when someone else suggests the need for us to do so.

Are you wondering about Aging in Place

Aging in Place is the current term for getting old at home.  But, if you were to do a search online you won’t find much that will actually give you any idea how to do that. Sure, there are Doctors, nurses and resource sites all over the web.  The problem is they don’t provide you with any concrete guidelines that will prepare you for aging at home.  That what my newly revised book intends to fix. It is a roadmap, a how to, or what to do if you in fact do want to age at home.
 

I just finished having it edited and while I am putting the finishing touches on it why don’t you take a look at the new cover for AGING SAFELY AT HOME, NOT IN A HOME  and let me know what you think of it.  In the next post, I will share the table comments and you can let me know if you think I have missed something you want to know.

Many people have written about “aging gracefully”, being a senior myself I am more concerned about “aging safely” and that is why it is the title of my new book. If we are safe and allowed to do so at home, then it is much easier to accept age and doing so gracefully.

 

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