R.A.Koyama

Live Well, Live Happy, Live Long

Tag: aging (page 1 of 3)

Continuing the Journey of All Things Aging – Which is All of US.

Remember a younger you, but don’t regret your journey to now.

As I continue writing about all things aging, I am reminded that age is just a number.  That age number is much less important than the health numbers I write about.

Even in my  Conscious Aging Course, I put some focus, not all of course, but some on knowing your numbers.

One of the most damaging things related to your health and your stress levels.  there are not stress number but your blood pressure rate is one directly related to the stress in your life.  If you do nothing else with respect to your health, work on reducing your stress.  Here is a link to my course on learning how to stress less available on Skillshare. Click the link below to get access.

Practical Stress Solutions

 

 

 

Do You Consume everything you get?

Most of us don’t!

Many of us purchase food and don’t consume it all before its expiry date.  We also purchase clothing that we don’t wear.

We buy magazines we don’t read, and books we forgot we even had.

Life needs books

Life needs books

And today with all the information on the internet we often download “important” stuff that we never open.

That goes double for the things we get for free!  Why do we even accept it or download it?

Most of us do so because we perceived a need at the moment, but as time passes so does the need.

All this Stuff – Is it really all that important?

Is it any wonder then that we end up with so much stuff?  Our houses are cluttered with unused things.  Even our computer hard drives are filled to the brim with articles, books, reports and free stuff we will never use.

Adding to that are key things that we should be using.  If you have downloaded a book on some particular health issue then it should be read especially if it is your health issue.  Ebook readers are popular these days and almost everyone has one on some device.

ereaders save space and the environment!

e-readers save space and the environment!

The good thing about consuming books and articles this way is that you don’t have to worry about disposing of them when you are done.  And if you are concerned about the environment you won’t have to feel guilty about killing trees with your voracious appetite for the written word.

 

Digital isn’t always appropriate.

My books are almost all digital with exception of workbooks that requires written input if they are to be of lasting value.  I have and am considering making then in a format that allows the input to entered digitally, but have a concern that some of my reads will not be able to do so.  In the future, you may find that there will be an option for doings so.

On the topic of Stuff, we don’t consume and that litters our homes you can read my book that will help you to get rid of some the tangible items are actually not consumable.

The books is

Clean Your House Before You Go

New Book

 

 

It Ain’t Over ’til its Over – dying is not the end

When I write it ain’t over, it’s because I often write about death and dying, but not in the normal sense.

 

 

Coffee and a friend to share it with

 

Grab a coffee and let's chat about life!

Grab a coffee and let’s chat about life!

 

 

I don’t believe in being morbid but I do believe in people being ready for the end. And those that aren’t are usually the ones for whom death is unexpected. A sudden illness, an accident or catastrophe befall them. And while I much of what I write speak to the older generation it applies all of who are getting older.

 

There is much to done before we go.

The book is a guide to help you clean your house before you go so your kids won’t have to once you’re gone. For me, that is some of what  Leavings my new book speaks to.

That was the gist of my most recent book.  But if you haven’t seen it you can get it here.

When I write that dying is not the end I am not preaching about the meaning of death, I am writing about what and who you leave behind. This is what I prefer to focus on and what you are going to find the book I am currently writing for very specific reasons. Some of that you can read in this Post.

We all leave something when we go I hope to help you leave a lasting legacy.  I do have my reasons and are mostly related to my own family experiences.  While most of my family has passed what I learned from their living and passing is what often write in my books and in my blogs.  The sister blog to this one www.healthywealthyaging.com is where I share some of the things that do not make it into my books.  Here is a link to one of the relevant posts.

There is so much to write about living and grow old and hope to make the journey a pleasant and meaningful one.  I hope you will join me in the discussion.

And I would love to share one of my free short book with you for doing so.

The book is Learn how to be happy, just click HERE to get your free copy.

 

 

 

Staying Home in your 70s, 80s, and Beyond – Free Chapter

Defining “Staying Home”

 

Home is where you choose it

Home is where you want to be.

“Staying Home” in the context of this book, means staying in your home. Be it a house, condo, apartment, or mobile home (which was my mother’s chosen home until her 90’s) or whatever place it is that you choose to call “home”.

 

As we get older many people, friends, family consider that we are, or will quickly become infirmed, and be incapable of looking after ourselves and remaining in our home.  This becomes even truer if we have lost our partner and are now alone.

 

I am not saying these people are being mean spirited.  They have love and, concern for our well-being and, us but they see things from their perspective, not ours. They don’t live in our bodies and they don’t have our thoughts or our desires. They do, however, think they know what our limitations are.  Now in some circumstances, they may well know more than we do or we are willing to admit, but if that is the case then this book may not be for you. If your judgment is impaired in any way then I would suggest you read this book in consultation with someone who can explain what needs to be explained about the suggestions and, how they fit or do not fit your circumstance.  You need to be the judge.  If nothing else I hope you will be empowered by what you read to make an informed decision.

So what exactly does “Staying Home” mean to me?

Well when I think of really “Staying Home”, I think of living exactly where I am now.  I think of taking care of myself the way I do now.  I think of sleeping in my own bed, taking a shower when I want, eating when and what I want.  I also think of being aware of what I need to do in the areas of hygiene, eating, and safety. These days I also think of what I need to do to keep my life the ways it is now, and what changes I need to do to ensure I can stay here for a long time.  I don’t think I am alone in having the wish to also die in my home.  I often joke with my children, who sometimes don’t see the humor in it, that, my wish is to go to bed one night and wake up dead.  Their perception is a little different and they think I am wishing to die soon.  Of course,  at is not what I am saying at all, really what I mean is that when the time comes, and I hope that time is a long time in coming, I hope I can just go to bed in my home and of course die in my sleep.  I don’t think that is a death wish or unreasonable request.

The alternatives may not be the best choice

The alternative to “staying home” is to live either in someone’s home, a senior home or nursing home and living by someone else’s rules.  This is precisely what I do not what and I don’t really think many others do either. I also have not desire to live with any of my children and I would hazard a guess that is not what they would want either, not that we do love and care about each and if they had to would accept it.  I am just not yet and hope never to be prepared to accept a reversal of roles.

 

You can get the complete book by clicking HERE

Helping Aging Parents Make Difficult Decisions – Free Chapter

My Health is my concern, not yours

 

Aging Parents

Aging Parent

If that is not the case, it brings us back to that conversation being best served by having an understanding of your parent’s temperament.  If the conversation is started by suggesting it take place at the doctor’s office, you have already lost half if not all of the battle when it comes to talking about what the future should, could or will hold.  A conversation in this company will have already put the parent on edge and have them thinking you feel they are incompetent and that you need and support of the doctor to talk them into something they don’t want.  If you do in fact, need that support you will need to have a different conversation.  A conversation with the goal of getting your parents permission for you to discuss their health.

Ask for permission for Doctor Input

Doctors, as we age, become either our best friends or our biggest fear.  Sadly, too many of us as we age increasingly rely on medication to alleviate any and all aches and pains, both physical and physiological.   You will need to know what your parents’ feelings are with respect to their doctor and how that doctor is assisting them with their health care.

 

Once again temperament plays a big role in how all conversations will go. When it comes to health, the conversation should start with how they feel their health will be in the future and how it is now. Your goal here is to gain an understanding in a non-threating manner what your parent’s thoughts are when it come to their health.  This is not about the doctor’s opinion or your feelings. It is setting the stage for a conversation that may be the topic of a future conversation.

Speak of Now Not Tomorrow

 

When the conversation takes place, it is best started on what is happening now rather than just throwing out the doom and gloom of the future. It’s the age old question; which do you want first, the good news or the bad?  In this case always start with the good—how good your parents look, how something they are currently doing is a good idea.  To bring up the future, you need to tie it to the present.  For example: “Wow, Mom, you are looking pretty spry, those walks must be working.  How do you feel, do the walks make you feel more energetic?   Good, they say that is key to staying healthy.”  If your parents disagree that this has been helping them, they have opened the door for a talk about what they think could help them now and how they think it will change, for better or worse, as time goes on.

 

Keep the conversation focused on the now and let the parent direct it towards tomorrow and the future.  Doing so will help bring the true nature of the needed talk more easily into the conversation with much less stress for all parties.

 

In a nutshell, you talk about the good of today and let your parents introduce the potential changes of the future.  Use that introduction to speak of how things may change or need to change down the road, even if that road is just around the corner.

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