R.A.Koyama

Live Well, Live Happy, Live Long

Tag: happiness

It Ain’t Over ’til its Over – dying is not the end

When I write it ain’t over, it’s because I often write about death and dying, but not in the normal sense.

 

 

Coffee and a friend to share it with

 

Grab a coffee and let's chat about life!

Grab a coffee and let’s chat about life!

 

 

I don’t believe in being morbid but I do believe in people being ready for the end. And those that aren’t are usually the ones for whom death is unexpected. A sudden illness, an accident or catastrophe befall them. And while I much of what I write speak to the older generation it applies all of who are getting older.

 

There is much to done before we go.

The book is a guide to help you clean your house before you go so your kids won’t have to once you’re gone. For me, that is some of what  Leavings my new book speaks to.

That was the gist of my most recent book.  But if you haven’t seen it you can get it here.

When I write that dying is not the end I am not preaching about the meaning of death, I am writing about what and who you leave behind. This is what I prefer to focus on and what you are going to find the book I am currently writing for very specific reasons. Some of that you can read in this Post.

We all leave something when we go I hope to help you leave a lasting legacy.  I do have my reasons and are mostly related to my own family experiences.  While most of my family has passed what I learned from their living and passing is what often write in my books and in my blogs.  The sister blog to this one www.healthywealthyaging.com is where I share some of the things that do not make it into my books.  Here is a link to one of the relevant posts.

There is so much to write about living and grow old and hope to make the journey a pleasant and meaningful one.  I hope you will join me in the discussion.

And I would love to share one of my free short book with you for doing so.

The book is Learn how to be happy, just click HERE to get your free copy.

 

 

 

Staying Home in your 70s, 80s, and Beyond – Free Chapter

Defining “Staying Home”

 

Home is where you choose it

Home is where you want to be.

“Staying Home” in the context of this book, means staying in your home. Be it a house, condo, apartment, or mobile home (which was my mother’s chosen home until her 90’s) or whatever place it is that you choose to call “home”.

 

As we get older many people, friends, family consider that we are, or will quickly become infirmed, and be incapable of looking after ourselves and remaining in our home.  This becomes even truer if we have lost our partner and are now alone.

 

I am not saying these people are being mean spirited.  They have love and, concern for our well-being and, us but they see things from their perspective, not ours. They don’t live in our bodies and they don’t have our thoughts or our desires. They do, however, think they know what our limitations are.  Now in some circumstances, they may well know more than we do or we are willing to admit, but if that is the case then this book may not be for you. If your judgment is impaired in any way then I would suggest you read this book in consultation with someone who can explain what needs to be explained about the suggestions and, how they fit or do not fit your circumstance.  You need to be the judge.  If nothing else I hope you will be empowered by what you read to make an informed decision.

So what exactly does “Staying Home” mean to me?

Well when I think of really “Staying Home”, I think of living exactly where I am now.  I think of taking care of myself the way I do now.  I think of sleeping in my own bed, taking a shower when I want, eating when and what I want.  I also think of being aware of what I need to do in the areas of hygiene, eating, and safety. These days I also think of what I need to do to keep my life the ways it is now, and what changes I need to do to ensure I can stay here for a long time.  I don’t think I am alone in having the wish to also die in my home.  I often joke with my children, who sometimes don’t see the humor in it, that, my wish is to go to bed one night and wake up dead.  Their perception is a little different and they think I am wishing to die soon.  Of course,  at is not what I am saying at all, really what I mean is that when the time comes, and I hope that time is a long time in coming, I hope I can just go to bed in my home and of course die in my sleep.  I don’t think that is a death wish or unreasonable request.

The alternatives may not be the best choice

The alternative to “staying home” is to live either in someone’s home, a senior home or nursing home and living by someone else’s rules.  This is precisely what I do not what and I don’t really think many others do either. I also have not desire to live with any of my children and I would hazard a guess that is not what they would want either, not that we do love and care about each and if they had to would accept it.  I am just not yet and hope never to be prepared to accept a reversal of roles.

 

You can get the complete book by clicking HERE

Do you know what your Temperament is?

No matter what stage of life you are in never stop learning.

No matter what stage of life you are in never stop learning.

Do you know the temperament of your parents, other aging family members or even your own?  My new book on “The Hardest Conversation” reveals that is could be critical when having these difficult conversations.  I wish I had taken that into consideration when my brother was making some of the decisions he made.  If I had known how to address his personality and temperament, I might have been able to help him change his mind about some of them.

That’s not maligning any of the choices people make it simply pointing out that when we have certain information we may active differently.  Along with the book, “The Hardest Conversation”, I am writing a short ebook that describes some of the different temperaments, how they change as we age and some of the conflict they can cause.

Just because we are aging doesn’t mean that we are incapable of learning or changing things to make our lives better.

 

You will find that theme throughout most of what I write, be it a tweet, a facebook, blog post or a book.

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