Defining “Staying Home”
“Staying Home” in the context of this book, means staying in your home. Be it a house, condo, apartment, or mobile home (which was my mother’s chosen home until her 90’s) or whatever place it is that you choose to call “home”.
As we get older many people, friends, family consider that we are, or will quickly become infirmed, and be incapable of looking after ourselves and remaining in our home. This becomes even truer if we have lost our partner and are now alone.
I am not saying these people are being mean spirited. They have love and, concern for our well-being and, us but they see things from their perspective, not ours. They don’t live in our bodies and they don’t have our thoughts or our desires. They do, however, think they know what our limitations are. Now in some circumstances, they may well know more than we do or we are willing to admit, but if that is the case then this book may not be for you. If your judgment is impaired in any way then I would suggest you read this book in consultation with someone who can explain what needs to be explained about the suggestions and, how they fit or do not fit your circumstance. You need to be the judge. If nothing else I hope you will be empowered by what you read to make an informed decision.
So what exactly does “Staying Home” mean to me?
Well when I think of really “Staying Home”, I think of living exactly where I am now. I think of taking care of myself the way I do now. I think of sleeping in my own bed, taking a shower when I want, eating when and what I want. I also think of being aware of what I need to do in the areas of hygiene, eating, and safety. These days I also think of what I need to do to keep my life the ways it is now, and what changes I need to do to ensure I can stay here for a long time. I don’t think I am alone in having the wish to also die in my home. I often joke with my children, who sometimes don’t see the humor in it, that, my wish is to go to bed one night and wake up dead. Their perception is a little different and they think I am wishing to die soon. Of course, at is not what I am saying at all, really what I mean is that when the time comes, and I hope that time is a long time in coming, I hope I can just go to bed in my home and of course die in my sleep. I don’t think that is a death wish or unreasonable request.
The alternatives may not be the best choice
The alternative to “staying home” is to live either in someone’s home, a senior home or nursing home and living by someone else’s rules. This is precisely what I do not what and I don’t really think many others do either. I also have not desire to live with any of my children and I would hazard a guess that is not what they would want either, not that we do love and care about each and if they had to would accept it. I am just not yet and hope never to be prepared to accept a reversal of roles.